Because here’s the thing – a guy who flits from girl to girl? He’s not going to obsess over you. He’ll flirt with you for as long as you both want, but never beyond that.
It’s usually characterized as him losing interest in a girl and going to the next one, leaving her broken-hearted. The thing is, that goes both ways. If the girl isn’t interested in him, he’ll back off and go find someone else.
For women who are constantly afraid of men’s reactions in the face of rejection, this is a relief. When you are constantly terrified of men who don’t take no for an answer, that the guy you say “no” to will follow you home or try to force you into doing something with him, a womanizer is a relief. You know he won’t get attached to you. He’s not going to obsess over you. The guy who’s already gone to flirt with some other girls isn’t going to follow you home.
Nice Guys, the kind who try to advertise how much better they are than those other guys, don’t seem to realize how disturbing it is when they try to play a “deep relationship” right off that bat. Staying with one girl all night at the party doesn’t signal commitment to us – it signals obsession.
The womanizing “Asshole”, the guy who loses interest quickly? He’s safe. We can say ‘yes’ if we want, but we can also say ‘no’, and he’ll just go find someone else. He’s not going to try and talk us around, he’s not going to waste time convincing us how much better we are than the next guy.
Maybe they leave a trail of broken hearts behind them – but as far as most girls are concerned, broken hearts are a lot better than broken bodies.
@jonvoll replied to your post
All I can say is thank you for actually defining
nice guy because as someone who tries really hard to be kind to
everyone for no reason other than that I know the world can be a cruel
place and I never know what someone is going through I often feel
included in posts talking about how horrible nice guys are because
nobody ever told me that they are talking about people who pretend to be
niceYeah, sometimes slang and jargon becomes so widespread we forget its literal meaning, and how it might look to someone who doesn’t know the colloquial meaning. I’ve definitely been there – still am there, there are lot of terms I see on Tumblr that I don’t understand.
Nice Guys (“Nice Guys”, Nice Guys™, etc.), is a phrase that refers to men who try to gain feminine attention and regard by positing themselves as “nice”, in opposition to the stereotype of the Manly Man who is ‘not a nice guy’. This mentality is built on a caricature of gender, and one which dehumanizes women (assuming all of us like the same things, or the same things in men), and denigrates other men.
You’ll find a lot of examples of this unpleasant kind of person here.
I do wish more of the world put in more effort to be kind to everyone. It’s just what a lot of people, especially men, don’t realize is that that respecting boundaries is a kindness, and lack of romantic or sexual interest is not a cruelty.
I wonder if Nice Guys realize “womanizing” is exactly why girls like the so-called Assholes.
Published
fadeslikewhispers 