I have a friend who has a child, and their child is always sick. Always crying. Just generally, not a very happy wee lamb. Every other day she’ll come to me, complaining how awful it is to have a Difficult Child. And at first I made all the right sympathetic noises, I consoled her, I asked how I could help.
And then her kid gets allergy testing done, and several allergies are confirmed, and I think great! This is likely why they are always upset and ill! Maybe now they can get better!
And my friend… does not stop exposing them to the allergies.
“But they’re allergic to wheat,” I say, “and milk, and you’re still giving them those things.”
“Oh but they’re only minor allergies, not like, anything dangerous.”
“But that’s not… that’s not how that works,” I say, trying to be helpful, as I explain that even low level inflammation can be extremely detrimental in the long term, and extremely painful to deal with and how exposure therapy doesn’t always work. So of course he’s always sick and always crying. Of course he is.
And she rolls her eyes and says, “Look, I know you think you know a lot about health. But you’re not a parent, so I can’t expect you to understand.”
Because apparently upon the benediction of motherhood, the sacred knowledge of the universe is imparted to you the moment the umbilical cord is cut. Because apparently someone who is sick all the time, wouldn’t be able to understand. Except of course I don’t understand her. I understand her child. And what it’s like to be ignored, and hurt, and abused. And sick.
And suddenly you realize, maybe your friend is not your friend in the way you thought they were. And maybe, likely, probably, they shouldn’t be a parent.
if you’re not a parent, then nothing you do matters. only parents experience real feelings and emotions, real loss and real joy. nobody else. not even their children.
welcome to abusive ideology. it’s about power and selfishness, justifications for why nobody else matters. and the whole goddamn world supports it. “you’re selfish if you don’t have kids”. blah blah blah.
Really hit the nail on the head.
My mother would have absolutely not ever exposed her kids to anything that she knew would only be detrimental to us. My dad WAS a detriment, and he thought he was right and everything he did was right and if you said wrong you didn’t get it because you weren’t a parent, or a parent to his “difficult” kids. (Hint: everyone kid difficult if you think everything they do is wrong and an attempt to make your life worse)
I have a gajillion allergies that with age have become closer to “extremely annoying” than “one peanut will fucking kill me”. But that’s because I had the luxury of a mom who literally fought tooth and nail to make sure irresponsible adults would never try to purposefully expose me to things I was allergic to. It didn’t always work, because people hear “minor allergy” and think “that wimp will be fine she just doesn’t like being outside” and yeet you into a blooming field sometimes and then you breathe funny for the rest of the day. And then my mom would tear them a new one, or two.
And that. That is what you need to do for your kid. And if you’re not willing to watch out for your own kid’s well-being, no matter how fucking minor the allergy is, don’t fucking have kids good god. Exposure therapy needs to be done by a professional, and if you keep exposing your kid to the thing it reacts allergic to, your kid’s immune system will continue to react because it continues to be exposed to the goddamn threat. And even the minor symptoms, the itching, the throat swelling, the tearing eyes, the runny nose, the mild rashes, are not fun. And the smaller you are, the less you are equipped to deal with these. And chances are your kid will fucking hate you for making it endure that. I know I would.
I love this video because it’s one of the few ones I’ve seen where an animal is being messed with using a holiday prop and is totally okay with it. This is a super happy, relaxed cat who really does enjoy the skriches and does not appear to be bothered at all by the fact they’re coming from spoopy decorations and not living human hands.
Bonus points because the person doing it is being really gentle and calm.
Terfs: wombyn are their ovaries!!! Ovaries make a wombybybynnn. Accept that u are a womynbdgnn you have ovaries !!!!
Me, a trans man on the danger list for ovarian cancer and is going to get them removed in the distant or near future:
not for long
You’re still female whether you have ovaries or not lmao
You heard it here first folks!! Females are females regardless of whether or not they have ovaries, so trans women are women regardless of their lack them. Well said 🙂
You played yourself like a damn fiddle, fool
i love watching terfs run circles around their own logic:
“you need ovaries to be a wombyn!!!”
transman: guess who got that shit removed I’m a Real Boy™ now
“nO not like that you still have a uterus that makes you female!!!”
ciswoman who’s had a complete hysterectomy: guess i’m not a woman then
“tHAT”S NOT WHAT I MEANT if you have a vagina/vulva you’re female!!!”
transwoman who’s had bottom surgery: oooh i’ve got one of those does that mean i’m a Real Girl™ now??”
“NO YOU DON’T HAVE OVARIES OR A UTERUS”
literally everyone except terfs: *squints*
i especially love to person in the notes who brought up needing to have “female muscle/fat distribution patterns” like I have some incredible news for you about exactly what Hormone Replacement Therapy does…
so you know the rule in fairylands where you cant eat or drink anything or you’ll have to stay there forever? does like.. .eating out/sucking dick count
holy f uck jane
its a serious question
well like, the whole thing is that you cannot have consumed anything belonging to the fey realm. so, yes, probably, you would be stuck there. the same would apply if you just straight up ate a fairy.
new question: would deepthroating count in this case even w/o swallowing
no. temporary doesn’t count, otherwise fairies would all be running about sticking their hands in your mouth to get human servants.
you gotta digest it.
so like??? if you puke afterwards?? maybe it doesn’t count?
huh! i wonder how long is enough time for it to be legit. like whatever goes through your stomach immediately condemns you no matter if you throw it up later?
Well Persephone only ate 6 seeds so she only stayed 6 months, so maybe if you spat out most of it you’d just be condemned to the occasional day “BRB got go pay the two day toll for fellating a fairy.”
“you wanna come over for the weekend?”
“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”
“you what now”
i can hardly believe this isn’t already the plot of an Oglaf comic
now that u said it im really surprised as well
what the fuck did i just read
Why ISN’T this an Oglaf comic yet?
I’m so happy that i’m not the only person who thinks of questions like these. I love you all so much.
I’m not convinced by this, actually!
Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”
But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:
“I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”
“You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”
“You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”
Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.
The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.
(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to helpyou leave.)
Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.
And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”
Instead, what seems more likely is…I dunno, showing up to your wedding years later and giving you a beautiful white horse that always comes when called, while loudly praising you as truly deserving it for giving them them simply the best oral they’ve had in years.
Or they feel obligated to show up at your house a couple days a year. So, like
“you wanna come over for the weekend?”
“oh man I’m so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now he always comes by over memorial day weekend and helps me out with minor home repairs.”
“you what now”
This is my favorite act of intellectual bugfuckery on this entire website, when I die I want someone to print this out and place it in my grave with me so I can cherish it forever.
YOU ARE IGNORING THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF DEALING WITH THE FAE THE LANGUAGE USED
THE SIMPLE ACT OF ACCEPTING OFFERED SEX PLACES THE ACCEPTING PARTY IN DEBT
Guys, if you see these apps please report them if you can. They steal people’s art, use it without permission or artists’ knowledge. And they profit from it. Not to mention this app is a hoax, they tell you to pay to use it (it’s not free) and even then the thing doesn’t work. Please be aware of it. If you see the ad, if you see your art, report it. Apple (I believe this one is for IOS too) does delete apps like this.
fadeslikewhispers 