Minding one’s own business needs to be a course in college…
This makes me sad. I grew up in a diverse area near the westcoast and I love casually hearing other languages. It makes me feel closer to the world and happy that they’re free to speak whatever language they want. This might sound weird, but whenever I hear them, it reminds me that strangers are real people with their own life and history. It’s a fact we easily forget. Language is such a huge part of who we are. I can’t imagine being forced to deny a part of my identity. To be told that I need to squish myself into their boxes or I’ll become the nail that needs to be hammered down. I hate this and I am so sorry this is happening to you.
If you move to an English speaking country, speak English, or better yet go back to the country that speaks your language and no one will say shit to you 🙆🏻♀️ the complete entitlement from immigrants when the loacals ask them to assimilate to their country. I wouldn’t go to Korea and cry like a baby because they told me to stop speaking English. Its expected I speak Korean. You people need to grow up .
While the United States is a predominantly English-speaking society, there is actually no official language. What would you say someone speaking an indigenous language? Also, the person who wrote these tweets speaks English? She was speaking Korean over the phone to her cousin in Korea. Do you expect her to speak in English to someone who might not speak it rather than a shared one because she’s in a public space in an “English speaking country”? Do you believe that everyone sharing a public space with you owes you something?
There’s a big difference between assimilation and integration and I don’t know how to tell you that assimilation is not a desirable thing.
Literally how the fuck are you going to call the victim entitled? They were having a private conversation and some fucking rando told her what language she could be speaking in a private fucking conversation that didn’t involve her at all. Gtfo.
I’m pretending all the time to be, kinder, stronger, funnier, more sociable than I am. I guess we’re all like that but it just feels so inadequate.
What’s the difference?
I know it sounds flippant but… certain things are fundamentally performative. And other things are so close as makes no difference.
Kindness is performative. Actions are kind, and people are kind by performing those actions. You can’t “pretend” to be kinder than you are, you can only perform kindness or not perform kindness, and choosing to perform kindness is always worthwhile, no matter how much you may second-guess your motivations.
Strength is so many things. It takes strength to pretend a strength you don’t feel. And the way to achieve strength is to exercise it, so long as you do it in enough moderation to not strain or break anything. Being able to affect strength when necessary while being able to put it down again when that in turn is necessary is healthy. Everyone starts weight training with the littlest weights. It’s not fake or pretending to do what you gotta do in any given situation.
Funniness lives in the interlocutor, not in the speaker. It doesn’t matter how funny you think you are (or think you are pretending to be) – that’s not how it’s measured. At what point are you “pretending” to be a musician if the music still gets made? And often what it’s tempting to describe in first person as “pretending” is more accurately described in the third person as “practicing” – which is of course the way you cause things to Be.
Sociability is also performative. Pretending to be sociable is just…being sociable, despite a disinclination towards it. It’s making an effort towards something you value. So long as the effort is not so great that it backfires into resentment, there’s no practical difference.
Qualities or activities or whatever are no less worthy because you have to actively choose to perform them. If anything, the worthiness lies in the act of choosing. It’s not “pretending” – it’s agency.
tl;dr: ain’t nothing wrong with “fake it till you make it.” A plastic spoon* holds just as much soup as a “real” one
* I keep wanting to talk about semantic domains! Artifacts are defined by their utility, whereas living things are defined by their identity. So plastic forks are still forks, but plastic flowers aren’t flowers. So there’s two pep-talk messages to take away from this: (1) for certain things, the distinction between “fake” and “real” isn’t a relevant one so long as they still get the job done, and (2) the purpose of a living thing is to be the thing that it is. The idea of a “useless person” is as semantically nonsensical as the idea of “pretend kindness” (or fake cutlery).
I love this post. It illustrates what I think is maybe the key difference between a developing self-identity and a formed self-identity, which is, like…confidence? If you are BEING kind, consistently, if you are prioritizing that over your own comfort or fatigue or even, occasionally, your emotional inclination (because OH MY GOD FUCK THIS GUY, I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE–uuughhh, but no, I’m not gonna lash out at him, that won’t accomplish anything, and besides, he’s probably had a bad day, he’s under a lot of stress, I don’t have to be an asshole about this…), guess what? That makes you kind. That is literally what kindness is. Same for patience, same for strength, same for all of this stuff. You got it. You’re doing it. You’re not faking anything. Stop second-guessing yourself and cutting yourself down. Give yourself enough credit to look at your actions and confidently assert to yourself that you are no longer just making things up as you go.
it’s sad to see so many people like this on this website
OP is praising the fact that women hold a fucking infant in their belly the size of a ribcage, get the fuck over yourself for 3.5 seconds.
*~*~follow for more fragile male ego~*~*
The male body is more susceptible to hereditary diseases because of their lack of a second X chromosome. Their testosterone production ages them faster and causes them to die sooner. Their center of gravity is higher because of their tiny little hips and overgrown shoulders, making them easier to topple. Their gonads are placed outside of the body, in a very vulnerable position, because they do not function properly if they get a little bit warmer than usual. They have non-functional nipples, but still enough breast tissue to get cancer.
The male body is not hardcore. The male body is to the female body what a shoddy, unstable mod is to a well-estabilished piece of software. Sit the fuck down. And try to not crush your fragile pathetic outside gonads when you do it.
you could be my boyfriend of 85 years or my husband of 586778 years or my favourite teacher or my most beloved mentor but if you are a man and you yell at me or raise your voice at me i can 100% guarantee our relationship will never be the same ever again there is something so treacherous about men who needlessly raise their voice
Okay, but replace man with woman… Sounding a lil sexist.
why stop there!! let’s replace man with gecko!! i HATE reptiles!
😦
awww. i don’t mean you gecko girl it’s okay i’m sorry
In my personal experience, women raise their voices because they feel like they aren’t being listened to. Men raise their voices because they feel like they aren’t being obeyed.
fadeslikewhispers 