Hairdresser: We’re going to have to use a color remover to take out the blue pigment, then apply more pigment to allow for the proteins in the hair to adhere to it. Then possibly mix three different types of toners to reach the goal of your natural hair color.
Hairdresser: pretty simple
Me: this is chemistry
Hairdresser: yeah, but people don’t like when we talk that way
Hairdresser: so you’re a mortician?
Me: apprentice
Hairdresser: do you know why formaldehyde is used in clothing?
Me: I didn’t know that was a thing
Hairdresser: I think it’s due to the preserving qualities? But I don’t think that’s right.
Me: It’s not just a preservative, it’s also a disinfectant ‘cause it destroys bacteria as well as their food supply. It’s also a dehydrator.
Hairdresser: why not just use alcohol?
Me: good question. Formaldehyde is super cheap, so probably to cut costs
Hairdresser: is it really a carcinogen?
Me: yeah, I’m going to have so much cancer
Hairdresser: so you’re going natural to work at a funeral home?
Me: yeah
Hairdresser: while still in school?
Me: well we work in the funeral homes so we have uuuuh … experience with cases
Hairdresser: you can just say bodies it’s fine
Me: oh thank god
Five Minutes Later
Me: yeah so we don’t do autopsies it’s one of my pet peeves
Hairdresser: what if someone wakes up while you’re embalming them?
Me: there’s a huge difference between a living body and a dead one
second hairdresser: I think we should add more toner, but yeah I think rigor mortis would make it pretty obvious
Me: that and being in a fridge for a few days you will be dead by the time you get to us
Hairdresser: I think pumping them full of a carcinogen would help with that
Imagine your OTP….
hey guys unpopular opinion but you’re not a bad person if you don’t care about every bad thing happening in the world all the time, or if you do care but you’re not constantly reblogging posts spreading awareness and information
it’s okay if you’re just on tumblr to have fun and reblog things you like or that make you happy.
humans aren’t made to process trauma and suffering on a worldwide scale without any breaks whatsoever & the internet has created an unprecedented access to bad news so please never feel guilty for scrolling past it because you can’t process it! and you’re not doing anything wrong & there’s no need to feel guilty
I always hope that people who see all my activism posts don’t think I expect them to be the same. It makes total sense to just want to have a place to be into your fandoms. That’s up to you and you’re not a bad person for wanting to rest.
You’ve heard of problematic favs,
Now get ready for:
I don’t have to justify why I like a character
my sister-in-law, who has no kids and does not spend time around children ever, decided she wanted to take my kids on an “outing” yesterday. (she sees them like 4 times a year usually). she took them to some weird historical u.s. military fort museum thing, it’s like a big compound with like 15 buildings enclosed by a fence. anyway my 5-yr-old saw one of those red metal fire alarm boxes on the wall and asked his aunt “what does that say?”
now the correct answer to this question, in my opinion, would be “that is a fire alarm. we only touch fire alarms if there is a fire. if there is a fire, you would pull the handle and it would make a very loud noise so that other people know to get out of the building.”
according to several reliable sources, my sister-in-law’s answer to the question was, “it says ‘pull.’”
so anyway that’s how they managed to evacuate all 15 buildings at the museum and why this is probably their last “outing” for a while.
OH SHIT H.P. LOVECRAFT TOTALLY WOULD HAVE BEEN INTO TENTACLE PORN
Hentai Pussy Lovecraft
i’m going to debone you like a fucking trout
do people that say shit like “ooh nobody reads anymore, they only use their phones and computers” think that computers and phones can only display pictures and make sounds
like do they think words can’t be displayed by computers
what’s this post say, my phone can only display pictures and make sounds
maybe someday the idea of kissing you will seem normal instead of momentous // alm
man, teenaged girls aren’t allowed to have a genuine interest in anything without being ridiculed for it. if a girl likes ugg boots and starbucks she’s stupid and stereotypical, but if she likes combat boots and obscure coffee houses she’s a hipster wannabe and is trying too hard. if a girl listens to boy bands and other popular artists she’s a dumb follower, if she reads comics or plays video games she’s a poser/fake geek girl, if she likes sex she’s a slut but if she doesn’t like sex she’s a prude, if she wears makeup she’s fake but if she doesn’t wear makeup she’s a slob, if she has low self-esteem she needs to learn to love herself but if she has high self-esteem she’s overconfident and vain, if she’s interested in politics she’s a crazy social justice warrior but if she prefers to stay out of social matters she’s a dumb airhead. girls are literally mocked for every single thing they like or do, no matter what those things are, and i’m really really sick of it.
The Imam of Peace drops a MOAB on the U.K. Trump protestors
Hello rightsmarts, the latest in conservative news. I’m just reblogging this because it’s gotten around to the punk side of things and sometimes it seems like anarchists forget that PR is important in political movements.
They also donated $21 million to
The Refugee and Immigrant Center for Education and Legal Services(RAICES) to help the children in detention camps. The comparative cost of the balloon is about a quarter of a percent of what was donated to RAICES alone.
You know what’s great about a balloon? It’s ridiculous. It’s got a fun, airy parade feel. You go to a protest with the Trump Baby and you see people who share your values and are equally frustrated with the world – and it’s hard as hell to show a bunch of people having a fun old time with a parade float as dangerous antifa terrorists.
(Also it gets news cameras pointed at protests of Trump, and at this point we should all recognize the value of big stunts that get you free press because Trump sure as hell did.)
That and it gives frustrated, burned-out activists a bit of a laugh. We’ve got to have levity, we’ve got to be able to enjoy things and have a sense of humor. If we’re all grimly grinding away and donating all of our spare change to the ACLU and only ever talking about the horrible things that are happening we’re going to get too exhausted to carry on. Which is exactly what folks like rightsmarts and Imam Tawhidi want.
Oh yeah, that’s the other thing – imamofpeace up there bills himself as a moderate Muslim who wants reform but he’s supported calls for Muslim immigration bans in Australia. He claims to want reform to prevent extremism but denies extremism in his own sect and only targets Muslims of other sects. He doesn’t have many Muslim followers but he does have a lot of twitter followers who seem to like being able to point to Imam Tawhidi and say “see, I’m not islamophobic, I only want to listen to *reasonable* Muslims, like this guy who tells me how backward all those Muslims are and how they’re preparing to take over the west.”
So a professional pot-stirrer is criticizing activists for spending the equivalent of a quarter of a percent of their donations on a fun balloon that bring out large crowds to protest, creates feelings of solidarity and levity, and is an excellent PR tool.
Yeah, fuck off with your bullshit. People recently crowdfunded a couch for Elon Musk and tried to give Kylie Jenner $100 million so she’d be a round billionaire. Nobody should feel the tiniest bit bad for donating to the construction and display of a protest sign.
The Trump Baby balloon is a good investment on the part of protesters and helped ensure that Trump knows he’s not welcome or appreciated by the people of London.
(hey by the way this criticism of decadence and fun is the kind of puritanical authoritarian shit that you get from the right and from tankies and it’s why nobody likes tankies. bread AND roses, motherfuckers.)
fadeslikewhispers 