fadeslikewhispers

chaneladdict:

justacookieofacumberbatch:

randomcreativitybursts:

online friendships are a delicate mix of “i know all your deepest secrets” and “wait you’re not left-handed”

And “hey, I wrote some porn for you.”

“Also, what is your name again?”

whateverbutgood:

sparkafterdark:

tyrannosarcophagous:

nerdgul:

sparkafterdark:

witchchad:

totallyfubar:

sparkafterdark:

momunofu:

dadurl:

momunofu:

chillin on a Saturday night

Calm down jojo

you’re right, I am looking a little stiff here, I should try to relax

You call that “chillin”?

Everyone knows the best way to relax is with a good book and a warm drink

I dunno, man,

sometimes I like just relaxing on my laptop

get on my level boys

Unfortunately to “get on your level” I’d need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes.

Thats gotta be the sickest burn ive ever read holy fuck

this post appears once every million years

I kept hoping someone else would one up me and I’d have to escalate even further but nobody has.

oh my god, I have only seen this post on screenshots

this is A DREAM COMING TRUE

smallest-feeblest-boggart:

kingoftheunderground:

kingoftheunderground:

cakesoup:

kingoftheunderground:

kingoftheunderground:

kingoftheunderground:

kingoftheunderground:

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”

My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

please give us updates

Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”

And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying.

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

op will not die of natural causes

glumshoe:

friendships that fluctuate between really stupid weird flippant jokes and earnest vulnerability and deep affection make life so much richer

avpdqueen:

me? both avoiding and craving attention? you bet

paininthejas:

THAT is big dick energy

notabadsport:

No Noise November. everyone shut up

mjalti:

I hate it when people ask “do you trust me” like …don’t call me out like that ……..the answer is no

llesbianfarmer:

angellfallendown:

anyways fuck america for not educating students about the aids crisis whatsoever

my drama teacher mentioned to us “most of my friends from college are dead” and I knew right away what he meant. he explained “I was a drama major in the 1980s” and still no one else in the class understood. he explained a little bit about the aids crisis, but these kids had no idea before. it is truly heartbreaking to hear about it, and especially to see it being erased.

uppityfemale: