type one: fan fiction is a love letter to canon, only small changes unless it’s an au!!
type two: the source material can bite me, I don’t give a fuck
type three: horny
sorry, I forgot one
type four: canon COULD be so good if it wasn’t so straight/white/horny, so I fixed it while holding unblinking eye contact with the creator and mouthing ‘die’
I desperately regret making this post
this is the only version of this post you’re legally allowed to reblog from now on
Just wanna point out that this was a collaborative art and musical project between Xan Griffin and Peter Mohrbacher. You can listen to Xan Griffin’s full Zodiac album on his youtube page. It’s really good music.
I agree, all men should learn about women’s sexuality by reading My Immortal.
Hi friend! Foz here. Just a couple of points:
– I’ve specified good fanfiction in literally the first tweet. While this is, obviously, a value judgement wherein YMMV, My Immortal is famous for being arguably the most terrible fanfic ever written, and is therefore demonstrably not what I’m talking about. Similarly, I’ve seen other responses to this post bring up 50 Shades, which, despite its popularity in mainstream circles, is pretty much universally regarded as being not just terrible fanfic, but an excruciatingly bad and dangerously inaccurate portrayal of BDSM that romanticises abuse. So no: these are not the droids you’re looking for.
– Here’s the thing, though: you already knew that. The decision to respond to this post with a flippant reference to a fic that’s notorious precisely because of its poor quality is exactly why I used up precious Twitter characters to specify good fanfic, even though I shouldn’t have had to. Every mode of artistic expression is composed of good, bad and mediocre works, but when it comes to genres that are traditionally viewed as less worthy or literary – like fanfiction, or romance – we have a reflexive tendency to conflate the bad with the whole, such that the good is implied to be either exceptional or nonexistant. I specified that I’m talking about good fanfiction, not because I think such fics are an exalted minority, but to pre-emptively combat the assertion that they are, and then you’ve gone and made it anyway. So, thanks for that.
– But while we’re on the subject of quality, let’s make a very important distinction. Though fanfic is a largely unmediated medium, it’s not bad; it’s amateur, in the very literal, dictionary-definition sense of engaging or engaged in without payment; non-professional. While there’s a stereotype that lots of ficwriters are teenage girls – which, why is that always wielded as an insult? oh right, misogyny, carry on – a lot of us are, in fact, grown-ass adults of varying genders, some of whom also happen to write professionally in other contexts; like me, for instance. I’ve read fanfics that are unquestionably as good as, if not better than, many professionally published works I’ve read, some I’ve simply enjoyed or felt meh about, and others where I’ve mounted up on my Nopetopus and ridden off into the sunset after the first paragraph. It’s a grab bag, is what I’m saying, but if you think that’s an inherently different spectrum of enjoyment over quality than applies to any other medium, then I’d politely invite you to reconsider the matter.
– In conclusion: fanfic might not be your bag, but it has its own culture of editing, collaboration, publication, criticism and dissemination, its own conventions and subversions of same, its own extensive history and trope awareness, and, yes, its near-unique status as a medium invested in female sexual desire. That doesn’t mean there aren’t other things straight dudes can do to learn the mystical ways of What Women Want like, oh, say, talking to them, always bearing in mind that women are not a goddamn hivemind, but given that there are a frightening number of guys out there whose first or primary exposure to any type of porn is whatever degrading mainstream het they can scrouge up for free without virusing the hell out of their PCs, then yeah: I’m gonna go out on a fucking limb and suggest they maybe balance it out with some fanfic.
This might be the best summary of the power of fan fiction and its inherent lessons about women’s sexuality that I’ve ever seen.
“Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.” – Igor Stravinsky
“I am sure my music has a taste of codfish in it.” – Edvard Grieg
“Never look at the trombones. It only encourages them.” – Richard Strauss
“He’d be better off shovelling snow than scribbling on manuscript paper.” – Richard Strauss on Schoenberg
“I liked your opera. I think I will set it to music.” – Ludvig van Beethoven
“I have written a chorale both sober and suitable. In it I have put everything I know about boredom. I dedicate this to those who do not like me.” – Erik Satie
“
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.” – Gioacchino Rossini
“What a good thing this isn’t music.” – Gioacchino Rossini on Berlioz’s Symphonie Fantastique
“Oh how wonderful, really wonderful opera would be if there were no singers!” – Gioacchino Rossini
“In opera there is always too much singing.” – Claude Debussy
“Bring me coffee before I turn into a goat!” – Johann Sebastian Bach
“Listening to the 5th Symphony of Ralph Vaughan Williams is like staring at a cow for 45 minutes.” – Aaron Copland
“The audience expected something big, something colossal, but they were served instead with some agitated water in a saucer.” – Louis Schnieder on Debussy’s La Mer
“He gives me the impression of being a spoilt child.” – Clara Schumann on Liszt
“What a giftless bastard!” – Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky on Brahms
“Handel is only fourth rate. He is not even interesting.” – Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
“Bach on the wrong notes” –
Sergei Prokofiev on Stravinsky
And, saving the best for last…
“Lick my ass up and down” -Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Feel free to add more! (Also please don’t think that I agree with all of these, I am a huge fan of Symphonie Fantastique and La Mer!!)
“I am in the smallest room in my house. Your review is in front of me. Soon it will be behind me.” – Max Reger
Whoever thought that classical musicians/composers were old, boring, dead people clearly do not understand the amount of salt there is to go around here.
1, 10, 19, 28: the sweetest people, the public adores them and it’s easy to see why, very happy and light, the most magnetic, gentle, easy to get along with, has a singular purpose, effortless, has a fresh kind of innocence, authentic, engaging, desires to learn more about the world, naturally shines brightly, slightly quirky, very popular, may seem simplistic but in actuality are quite complex, their brand of sensitivity is lovely, seductive, relatable, likeable, genuine, their charm and aura is like an electric light, very caring, very considerate, also stubborn and childish/childlike, quite fragile, needy and insecure, pioneers, beautiful souls, often iconic and legendary
2, 11, 20, 29: very sexy, tends to stand out, as calm and modest as they are fiery and intense, quietly powerful and influential, were more than likely bullied as kids, have anger issues, seems boring and are easily dismissed yet are the very ones you don’t want to sleep on, regal, machiavellian, standoffish, enigmatic, reclusive, inscrutable, hard to get to know completely, not easily understood, intellectuals, keeps to themselves, snobby, can be a bit sensitive, deep, introspective, often taken for granted, commands respect, can be totally heartless, sincere, mature and dignified, the most lovable, spontaneous, idiosyncratic, very individualistic, loyal, can be caring, doesn’t take shit from anyone, very charismatic and magnetic, can be very sweet, can be completely detached, cold, wicked, cruel, distant and aloof, very mean-spirited mainly just because they can be, funny, very mysterious and private, complex, turns their pain into something amazing, the toughest of them all
3, 12, 21, 30: very very creative, irreverent, nervous, edgy, can be quite bossy, great communicators, an original voice, exacting, their voice is often their instrument, can be loudmouths, can be a bit crazy, can come off a bit spoiled, also can be disrespectful, very deft with their words, often quite funny, demanding, distant, can get aggressive, irreverent, aggressive, controversial, super defensive, very rash and impulsive, very intelligent, private, idiosyncratic, often operates on the fringes of society, they make the shittiest bosses, always something up their sleeve, strong-willed, likes a challenge, combative, expressive, completely unsentimental, values freedom above all, imaginative, shrewd, cautious
4, 13, 22, 31: humanitarians, romantic, faithful, pragmatic, reserved, controversy always seems to surround them, critical, anxious, smart-mouthed yet very sensitive, proud, tries hard to be individualistic but in reality is just like everyone else, very shady, can be and is often very disrespectful, patronizing and egotistical, can be quite judgmental, always working, likes to one-up people, needs control and is often very self-controlled, often fake, passive-aggressive, very opportunistic and savvy, great at making friends, very contradictory and hypocritical, often very talented and hardworking, competitive, inspires others, wants to be known as kind and great in everyone’s eyes, often has hidden motives
5, 14, 23: creative, sociable, dramatic, comes off very confident and cocksure, exciting, tend to be misunderstood a lot, spoiled brats, lively, strong-willed, calculating, in your face, shady, childish, unfriendly, con artists, pretentious, likes to seem omnipotent, petty, deeply insecure, delusions of grandeur, perceptive, arrogant, touchy, a bit obnoxious, capricious, volatile, unstable, uninhibited; insincere, condescending, blunt, sharp tongued and are more often than not the biggest assholes yet funnily enough are quite sensitive (almost hypersensitive), are usually mean because they’ve been hurt, defensive, intense, very reactionary, go-getters, often very popular for whatever reason, can be sexy, tightly wound yet carefree, hypocritical, doesn’t know the meaning of boundaries, crazy, very high maintenance, lucky in life but unlucky in love
6, 15, 24: the nicest and most relatable and likeable people, fascinating, can be a bit insecure, knows how to live life well, passionate, admirable, generous, driven, not concerned with conventions, can be offensive, as laid-back as they are motivated, can be mean, things just seem to fall in place for these people, has their fingers in every pot, open- minded, great to be friends with, nothing slows them down, loves a good time, lives life to the fullest, blunt and authentic, non-judgmental, might not be the luckiest when it comes to love but hands down the absolute luckiest when it comes to life
7, 16, 25: strong, spiky, has been through a lot, hard-edged yet secretly has a heart of gold, often geniuses, talented, keeps their cool, as immature as they are mature, rebellious, fighters, not concerned with the opinion of others, marches to the best of their own drummer, also judgmental, curious, overlooked often, individualistic, adventurous, opinionated, quite realistic, has strong self-respect, poetic, likes to push people’s buttons, tough to pin down, moody, very knowing, always keeps others on their toes, no-nonsense, distrustful of others, says they don’t like drama but secretly live for it, totally respected, they ooze sex, what you see isn’t necessarily what you get
8, 17, 26: bosses, commanding, assertive, grandiose, has a very wide reach, imaginative, never boring, vain, self-confident, very very popular and well-liked and it’s easy to see why; very influential, creative, visionaries, future-minded, doesn’t have to try too hard, talented, tends to exaggerate a lot, tells great stories, selfish, excellent at their craft, widely respected, unique, brave, also very dramatic and intense but nobly so, specializes in living in a fantasy world, creates controversy, dynamic, also very iconic and legendary
9, 18, 27: very original, big humanitarians, innovative, imaginative, takes a lot of shit but is strong enough to handle it, pioneers, idealistic, soft and sensitive, often can’t control themselves, believes in love almost to the detriment of logic, moves on well, generous, can be irritating, protective, easily hurt, likes to be in everyone’s business, also very sharp-tongued, can be more than a bit corny but usually means well, complicated yet straightforward, surprisingly self-aware, entertaining, tries to do the right thing, often comes off as a martyr, very spiritual/religious, believes in things like fate and soulmates, believes that tomorrow is another day
fadeslikewhispers 