I like to think that at some point Ed got bored and decides to become a professor at some big name Amestrian college.
His specialty is a military funded class called Battle Alchemy, which he starts off by inviting any of his students to beat him in hand to hand for a conditionless passing grade (by the end of the first class, most students walk away sore and horrified).
It takes half the semester before they realize that Ed continues to beat them even when they use alchemy and he does not. They ask to see him use alchemy in battle. The next day, a man who looks almost the same as their professor shows up to class- he’s softspoken and polite, and the students expect a substitute lecture. Ed sits in the stands and laughs as Al proceeds to fight the entire class at once, and beat all of them. The students never ask again.
(And sometimes, in the middle of practicals, students swear they can see the Fuhrer watching from the edge of the field.)
I can also see him causing a hell of a problem when it comes to conventional textbooks-
“This is definitely wrong.”
“Sir, this is the most recently updated textbook for theoretical alchemy-”
“Yea fuck that, I can prove that soul alchemy isn’t unviable- someone hand me some chalk, I’m about to commit a mathematical felony.”
the fma fandom likes to paint roy as this goofy dork who’s ‘useless’ and lazy and whatever but…..do we ever stop think about how RIDICULOUS this man is??
like…roy got promoted to colonel before he turned 30. that’s INSANE. take any modern day military and every colonel you find is going to be some old fart in his 50s/60s with DECADES of experience. but roy gets the rank while he’s still in his twenties and i don’t think we ever stop to think about how unreal that is.
and do you think it’s because he can shoot flames with a snap of his fingers? yeah, that might be part of it but it can’t be everything. there are plenty of other examples of combat alchemists who remain at the rank of major (which they’re given automatically) or take forever to get promoted. ed obviously is never promoted even though he’s a prodigy. armstrong is a major throughout the series even though his alchemy is impressive. even basque grande, who despite being a brigadier-general, looks like he’s got quite a few years on him. roy becomes a brigadier-general within two years of the promised day…so we can assume when he’s around 31 or 32.
that’s insanity. it’s not his alchemy or even his connections that got him that prestige so early on. it’s because he’s damn good at what he does. everything the military needs in a high-ranked officer, roy is. he’s got power, he’s got motivation, he’s got RIDICULOUS intelligence (solely because he’s a prodigy alchemist like ed), and he’s got charisma.
you don’t promote flameboy because he looks pretty and has a way with words. you promote him because he’s strong, mentally and physically, and can do the job the military wants him to. and everytime the fandom makes him into some dork loser….it’s good for a laugh, sure, but it doesn’t encapsulate his character and his ability at all
I just love that Greed really isn’t and never was a villain. Fundamentally his “sin” is that he wants things and to want something means that you have to care. I love that he cares and yes maybe he cares about things to an extreme – he wants everything to an extreme, but it’s the thing Father never realized when he made his avarice take form.
The most human of the “sins” is greed because there isn’t a single human emotion that isn’t fueled by a desire to keep things. Your life, your friends, your possessions, your success, your skills, your hope, the things that are yours you care about and Greed cares about ALL OF IT.
This isn’t mentioned in Brotherhood, but the reason Roy and Riza came to Resembool scouting out the Elrics is because someone fucked up the ages on Ed and Al’s file.
Literally Roy and Riza are riding in the back of some horse-drawn carriage into Resembool chatting with the driver like “yes we’ve heard rumors of two alchemist brothers here, Ed and Al Elric ages 31 and 30 respectively. Do you know where they live?” And the driver pretty much answers with “lol what? Those kids are like 10.”
Except now Roy and Riza are already THERE so they decide “Fuck it. Let’s pay a visit anyway.”
So everything that went down in the series is thanks to some mysterious fuck up in the Amestrian Intelligence Department and I salute that person.
Bonus: He buries his goddamn face in the document at the end, like staring at it closer might make it less wrong.
fadeslikewhispers 