So apparently no one should ever buy sugarless Haribo gummy bears
Fun fact: I once bought sugar free gummy bears.
This is exactly what happened
Petition for Youtubers to start doing the “Sugarless Gummy Bear Challenge”
FINALLY I FIND THIS SO I CAN SHOW THE WORLD THIS HAS TO BE SEEN
my cousins ate a bunch of these once and got sick as hell
my mom told me it’s because they ate too much candy
now i know it was a LIE
I’ve read through this every time it’s crossed my dash and every single time I start crying from laughter
sometimes I forget this exists and then I’m reminded
there are ver very VERy few posts that actually make me sob and my ribs hurt from laughter. this has won an award for THE MOST AMAZING THING I WILL EVER NEED FOR CHEERING UP EVER.
So apparently no one should ever buy sugarless Haribo gummy bears
Fun fact: I once bought sugar free gummy bears.
This is exactly what happened
Petition for Youtubers to start doing the “Sugarless Gummy Bear Challenge”
FINALLY I FIND THIS SO I CAN SHOW THE WORLD THIS HAS TO BE SEEN
my cousins ate a bunch of these once and got sick as hell
my mom told me it’s because they ate too much candy
now i know it was a LIE
I’ve read through this every time it’s crossed my dash and every single time I start crying from laughter
sometimes I forget this exists and then I’m reminded
there are ver very VERy few posts that actually make me sob and my ribs hurt from laughter. this has won an award for THE MOST AMAZING THING I WILL EVER NEED FOR CHEERING UP EVER.
Ravens imitate a number of sounds, and they can be extremely accurate. Their voices are able to mimic the deep, resonant tone of a man, or the higher-pitched tone of a woman. They often sound so insanely human that it’s hard to believe what you’re hearing.
See for yourself:
Mischief the raven would like to tell you hello.
And Julian wants to know what’s up.
Julian also wants to know who’s a good bird, but nobody will answer him!
Ravens also have regional accents, like the famous Terry.
Raymond is a wild bird that comes to visit his friend Merlyn and likes to make weird noises, but … wait. Was that..? At the 3min mark, was he imitating Merlyn’s laugh?
Generally this type of speech only happens with ravens that are trained and raised and captivity. But there are other wild ravens like Raymond who are freaking people out on a daily basis.
THESE VIDEOS ARE SO C U T E. Raymond was imitating his laugh omg.
I’ve had the joy of being told to “Fuck off” by this majestic rescued raven Reaper:
When I worked at the zoo, I participated in the bird of prey show, and we had a raven named Stark. (Best name ever, right?) He said a few words, mostly words of food he loved and he would beg for them. One time I was in the back before a show, and I didn’t realize he was behind me and almost backed into him.
He said, “HI!” really loud and scared the pee out of me. But that stopped me from bumping him. Haha.
the drum is filled with hot steam and then sprayed with cold water. the pressure on the outside of the drum is far more than inside. the pressures try to maintain and find balance taking the drum as a casualty.
“Oh FUCK that’s cold!”
when youre in the shower and someone flushes the toilet
My Chemistry teacher did this the first day of class with a coke can, a hotplate, and a basin of water. I have never forgotten the scientific principles behind it, and here’s why.
There were 20-something of us in the classroom, all dying of sleep deprivation since it was the first day back to school, first class of the day. Mr. Moses was that teacher you weren’t sure how to deal with. I mean, the man’s name was Noah Eugene Moses, for starters. He drove a Harley to school, but also drove the bus. He had giant cokebottle glasses and a doofy mustache with shaggy ex-Beatles hair. He always wore suspenders and a grease-stained t-shirt because he had a potbelly and taught the shop/electrical classes. He wasn’t even really lecturing; he was throwing in tidbits of the syllabus in the midst of bad jokes and fun stories. We were all a bit nervous, because none of us had taken a class from him before, but his tests were legendary—nobody had ever made it out with an A (until I did, but that’s another story for another time and involves a really awesome bet and some hair cutting scissors).
Well, as we were fighting to stay awake, and attempting to take notes of whatever he was talking about, he was pacing around the room from here to there, straightening things and moving stuff. He was very scatterbrained, and it was easy to tell from how he kept forgetting where he put his coke. Turns out, that was just a ruse. He had the can filled with just a tiny bit of water, and the things he was moving around were stacks of papers and books hiding the hot plate and water basin. So he set his coke can down onto the hot plate, continued talking loudly enough so we wouldn’t hear the water boiling, and then knocked it over really fast into the water basin.
BANG!!!!!!!!
Three girls fell out of their seats, one dude swore so violently I’m pretty sure the devil himself cringed, everyone at least jumped and screamed, and I actually broke my pen in half.
See, with rapid decompression comes a vacuum, and with a vacuum comes a rushing of air that creates a massive sound. Think “thunder”. That’s the same principle behind it. His little tiny coke can of steam into a bucket of ice water, and we had a bang so loud the band teacher came in from across the hall to see “what was exploding today.” To which Mr. Moses responded, “Nothing, it imploded. Explosions are chapter 3.”
And that’s when I knew it was going to be the best class ever.
so you know the rule in fairylands where you cant eat or drink anything or you’ll have to stay there forever? does like.. .eating out/sucking dick count
holy f uck jane
its a serious question
well like, the whole thing is that you cannot have consumed anything belonging to the fey realm. so, yes, probably, you would be stuck there. the same would apply if you just straight up ate a fairy.
new question: would deepthroating count in this case even w/o swallowing
no. temporary doesn’t count, otherwise fairies would all be running about sticking their hands in your mouth to get human servants.
you gotta digest it.
so like??? if you puke afterwards?? maybe it doesn’t count?
huh! i wonder how long is enough time for it to be legit. like whatever goes through your stomach immediately condemns you no matter if you throw it up later?
Well Persephone only ate 6 seeds so she only stayed 6 months, so maybe if you spat out most of it you’d just be condemned to the occasional day “BRB got go pay the two day toll for fellating a fairy.”
“you wanna come over for the weekend?”
“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”
“you what now”
i can hardly believe this isn’t already the plot of an Oglaf comic
now that u said it im really surprised as well
what the fuck did i just read
Why ISN’T this an Oglaf comic yet?
I’m so happy that i’m not the only person who thinks of questions like these. I love you all so much.
I’m not convinced by this, actually!
Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”
But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:
“I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”
“You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”
“You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”
Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.
The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.
(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to helpyou leave.)
Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.
And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”
Instead, what seems more likely is…I dunno, showing up to your wedding years later and giving you a beautiful white horse that always comes when called, while loudly praising you as truly deserving it for giving them them simply the best oral they’ve had in years.
Or they feel obligated to show up at your house a couple days a year. So, like
“you wanna come over for the weekend?”
“oh man I’m so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now he always comes by over memorial day weekend and helps me out with minor home repairs.”
“you what now”
This is my favorite act of intellectual bugfuckery on this entire website, when I die I want someone to print this out and place it in my grave with me so I can cherish it forever.
fadeslikewhispers 