Tag: marvel

siderefposts:

numenorss:

steeverogers:

I love Clint Barton because he’s the kind of guy who would ask if he could get an Avengers discount at Starbucks

#piece of shit motherfucker probably would #and he’d find a way to get it too #*flashes avengers ID* #probably uses it to get out speeding tickets too #”no no see it’s alright i am an AVENGER” #”that means i save the world and stuff…” #”so you’re welcome” #”no need to give me a ticket see look at my AVENGERS ID-card” #ends up getting a ticket anyway #story of your life #drops by mcdonalds #slides avengers ID over the counter as a form of payment #official avenger coming through #doing hero-business #please step aside ma’am i am an avenger #that means i work with captain america #yes #good ol’ cap #the big c #why yes he does smell like freedom and apple pie

#then one day a barista or shop assistant asks cap if he’s got his avenger id for the discount#and steve gives him a blank stare#and just before he says there’s no such thing as avengers discount#nat comes up behind him#slams her id down#‘yes we both need avengers discount’#reminding herself to high five clint later#because ‘avengers discount’ has clint written all over it (via annperkin)

mugetsupipefox:

disparatepeace:

skip-is-tired:

indigowallbreaker:

bluesocksandfluff:

taylortut:

spider-man-stan:

taylortut:

taylortut:

peter retaliating against “baby monitor protocol” by changing the names of Tony’s Iron Man protocols

“hey FRIDAY, zoom in on that building over there”

“Old Man Bifocals protocol activated, Boss”

“what the fuck did you just say to me”

“FRIDAY alert the team that my thrusters are down and i can’t fly”

“sure thing, activating I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up Protocol”

“PETER WE TALKED ABOUT THIS”

Tony: FRIDAY, open these encrypted files we don’t have a lot of time-

FRIDAY: activating the Fr E Sh A Voca Do protocol

Tony, sobbing: PETER WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DOES THIS MEAN 

AMAZING

-Peter gets hurt in a battle-

FRIDAY: Bone Hurting Juice Protocol has been activated – Mr. Parker is in distress.

Tony: -stops- He’s what?  The what?

Peter: -over the com- Oof, ouch… my bones…

Tony: FRIDAY! Engage autopilot!

FRIDAY: Activating Jesus Take The Wheel protocol.

Tony: Really, Pete?

@disparatepeace

Tony: FRIDAY, assemble the Avengers. Gonna need some back up.

FRIDAY: Activating the I’m Too Old For This Shit protocol.

Tony: ALRIGHT THAT’S IT PETER YOU ARE BANNED FROM MY LAB FOR THE NEXT THREE WEEKS.  

@friendly-neighborhood-reblogs

bundibird:

sleepy-ocean-girl:

sabrecmc:

Chris turning red and thinking bad thoughts, lol.  Me, too, buddy.

Well that’s one hell of a face journey

My fav part is that you’ve got Evans going on this face journey of delighted gutter thoughts, and then there’s Hemsworth, just nomming away nonchalantly like he hasn’t just made his buddy plunge suddenly and unexpectedly into nsfw mental image land

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name:

spideyandstark:

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name:

personally I like to think steve’s birthday isn’t actually July 4th but someone asked him when his birthday was when he was doing his little show tour thingy and he just said it as an accident and/or a panic response in a bid to seem even more patriotic and everyone believed him and now it’s like 100 years later and he’s too deep in the lie to back out now bc he knows all the avenger’s would fucking publicly roast him if he admitted july 4th wasn’t actually his birthday- like he would literally never live that down- so he lives his life in fear that some bitch ass historian is gonna find his birth certificate and expose him 

avengers: happy birthday, steve!

bucky, eyes narrowing: what the fuck your birthday isn’t until-

steve, holding back tears: shut up

Bucky tries to hand him a birthday card one cold December day, and Steve tackles him out a window before anyone else can see what he’s holding