infinity war part 2 opens with Valkyrie crash-landing back on the dumpster planet to let Jeff Goldblum know that someone’s been fucking with his #1 twink, followed by two and a half hours of Jeff Goldblum smacking Thanos down while everyone else looks on in awe and reluctantly admits that Loki’s self-preserving slutiness really did pay off in the end
I want to believe he promised a great deal but ultimately never delivered. Because well. You lose your leverage that way. I guess. Yes.
I got not problem with the “Loki Fucked the Grandmaster” headcanons because MCU Loki is a dumpster fire and nothing is off the table but let’s be honest, it’s far more probable that he simply did some illusions and low-level magic and the Grandmaster was like a delighted three year old and started taking him everywhere just so he could show people this cool new toy that turned cups into snakes and make duplicates of itself.
which avenger you were really into as a teenager is a far more accurate measure of personality than astrology is. for example, if you liked loki, you’re gay
thor: sports lesbian or hiking lesbian. you probably have nice hair and trouble expressing your feelings without resorting to speeches. cool flannel
cap: bi… ready to try.. would fight a guy. you probably have a long term best friend you REALLY love. if you’re not dating now, it’s because you’ve done that and decided it was weird, or you’re already married. nice undercut. i imagine you have positive feelings about tattoo chokers or wear a statement jacket (this is, to say, a jacket YOU consider YOUR statement jacket)
tony: please put down the coffee. you either have impressive photoshop skills & a singular determination see this franchise to its demise, or have jumped ship but hold a lingering bitter urge to defend tony stark to the death. you aggressively cut the shirts and collars off all your t-shirts. i am TERRIFIED of you
natasha: you dislike marvel & gave up after aggressively pirating every black widow comic only to discover they’re all misogyny-ridden. you’re majoring in english. your blog consists entirely of original posts where you joke around with your extensive list of long distance long term friends, & poetry. your title & description are probably ominous quotes
hawkeye: you suggest everyone reads matt fraction’s hawkeye. if you have moved past coffee, this is temporary or because you now take caffeine pills. if you don’t have a dog, this is because your friend’s dog now considers you its primary caretaker. bad at responding to texts. you cut & dye your own hair. your pajama pants are a statement piece
banner: superhero movies tire you. your wardrobe is a rotation of cardigans. you probably have joint issues and are prone to greying at nineteen. your friends keep dragging you to these movies even though you all know you’ll just be disappointed. you probably like cats. you are undoubtedly gay
fadeslikewhispers 