While you are worrying about whether beta readers will steal your ideas, there is a more genuine threat on the horizon.
When offered a publishing contract, please do all your research before you sign. There are a number of fakes and scammers out there, as well as good-intentioned amateurs that don’t know how to get your work to a wide audience. I won’t tell the heartbreaking stories here – there are too many.
Being published badly is worse than being never published.
It can destroy your career and your dreams.
The quick check is to google the publishing house name + scam or warning.
But, to be sure, check with these places first. They aren’t infallible (nothing is) but they can help you protect yourself. They are written and maintained by expereinced writers, editors, publishers and legal folks.
This is really important, so if you are a writer or have writer friends, or you are a writing blog, please reblog it.
Just to let you know, PublishAmerica changed their name to America Star Books.
HEAD’S UP, WRITER TYPES: THIS IS AN IMPORTANT PSA!
Also applies to many so-called freelance sites that are just content mills, and may not pay unless your work is used, even if the contract seems designed otherwise.
Listen, reading these is like legit reading horror stories. When it comes to publishing your writing, always, always, ALWAYS do your research. Not only will it help you avoid scams, but it will also be likely to help you land a much better fit for an agent/publisher/whatever. Knowing more is never going to hurt.
Omg!!! Thanks for the warning! Writers— reblog!
I’ve heard stories like this that are scarier than horror stories. This is an all time worst nightmare for a writer. Everyone reblog and make sure you keep your work safe!
Reblogging again for the links. Also check pred-ed.com and the Absolute Write forum. Then google Publisher’s name + scam and see what comes up. Do NOT use the BBB ratings, they are wholly unsuitable for rating publishers and regularly give A ratings to well-known publishing scams. You can also read my own post on publishing scams, have a link on the left of my blog ( can’t link here, I’m on mobile, sorry).
Equally important to know is that you can SELF-PUBLISH through a number of platforms these days. @ean-amhran and I used Amazon’s CreateSpace and Kindle Direct Publishing to publish both of our books. No editors, no contracts, no finagling with publishers who want to change your materials. Just direct-to-market material.
(Granted, it means you’ve got to do a LOT more work yourself with editing and formatting and cover art, but it’s worth it to miss the headache of trying to bargain with publishing houses or avoid scams.)
Be vigilant, fellow writers!
If you choose to self publish then HAVE A PLAN and think things through.
And hire an editor. Please, for the love of all that is holy, hire an editor. It’s expensive, but you will get a better book out, a better reputation…
If you’re going to publish electronically, make sure you also get someone who can LAY AN EBOOK OUT PROPERLY.
I have spent money on Kindle books, many of them reprints of older works, whose formatting is so messed up as to render them unreadable.
I actually recommend using the Smashwords Style Guide even if you don’t use Smashwords.
It lays out how to neatly format an e-book in a wonderful step by step format, and you can get it free from Smashwords. Just leave off the couple of things that are (very obviously) Smashwords specific.
If you can’t stand dealing with the meticulous detail, then by all means hire somebody, but most people can learn to format an ebook correctly and once you’ve done it a couple of times it takes about an hour tops.
Because the redirects aren’t working for me, I’m going to assume others might have trouble with these links, so for those who need it the URL for the website to Writer Beware is:
These are not publishers’ guilds, notice; you sometimes see scammers trying to defend themselves against Writer Beware exposes by claiming that they’re “small press” or “indie” and Big Publishing is somehow out to get them – but all of those guilds are run by and for writers, to help support them and represent them in the field. It is the closest writers have to having unions, and there’s no direct competition between them (you could literally be an in any of those guilds are the same time as each other, in addition to others, and I believe a number of authors are).
Writer Beware is a wonderful resource, and I highly recommend it. It’s both a good general guide to the scams people run/red flags to watch out for (such as giving up your copyright entirely as opposed to specific rights, or being charged to publish something or have it edited, when they’re trying to act like they’re a “normal” publisher), and a frequently-updated list of the latest specific known scammers, both in “fake agents” and fake/scammy publishers categories. (The company formerly known as Publish America is one of the most famous and egregious cases, but by far not the only one)
Additionally, for SF and fantasy writers, the SFWA’s own list of qualifying markets that one can be published in as a prerequisite to be able to get into their guild (remember, it IS a profession-based guild), is a great guide to normal markets for those genres that have standard contracts that aren’t abusive or scammy, and their guidelines include some of the industry-standard minimums for “per word” etc rates, so even if some new magazine market isn’t on their list, you can tell if it’s suspiciously far outside the usual per-word or whatnot standards. (It’s likely the guidelines for Mystery Writers of America etc also would be useful in that vein)
Even if you’re unpublished or don’t want to join their guild, they’re a wonderful group and resource, and I highly recommend their site and Writer Beware in particular!
The other sites mentioned above, such as “Preditors and Editors” should be still valid if you Google them, and are often rec’d by Writer Beware, but Writer Beware is the one I’m most familiar with. 🙂
Also, you should never have to pay an agent or anyone a “reading fee”! DO NOT PAY PEOPLE TO READ YOUR WORK!!! Run away from so-called agents that charge a reading fee! They are considered unethical in their own industry!
Also related to agents: Should you go this route and seek one, DO NOT PAY ONE DIME TO THEM upfront! A real agent only gets paid when he sells your book to a publisher! The average cut is about 10-15% of the first sale profits, if I remember right, with cuts of film and other rights maybe being more, when sold. At most, writers should only be responsible for the costs of phone calls and postage.
Regarding ebook layout: YES YES YES put some effort into getting it done well. (I don’t recommend the Smashwords guide unless you’re going through Smashwords, because it’s got some limitations that no other platform has – like, it doesn’t allow bullet-point lists, and has some image restrictions that don’t make sense for modern ereaders. But SW’s guide isn’t wrong; it’s just more limited in what it allows than you need to be.)
The big thing to keep in mind when formatting for ebooks:
You control the STRUCTURE.
The software controls the APPEARANCE.
So, you say “this is a chapter header,” and you give it a suggestion for what that looks like. But the reader’s software may not display it in the same way. Try not to create content that relies on an absolute appearance – like using spaces to make text line up. And don’t count on specific fonts working – some formats, some ereaders, won’t support them.
Calibre will convert from .docx, .rtf, and .odt. (It won’t convert from .doc; you’ll have to save that to something else first – HTML or RTF work best.) It converts to epub and mobi, and you can look at the converted versions and even edit them, if some of the formatting got scrambled.
Back to the business side of things: Right now, it’s much better financially to self-publish. Mainstream publishers want to demand you give them a swarm of rights for the full length of copyright – your lifetime + 70 years. Unless they’re promising you a NYTimes Bestseller and 10 years of give-up-your-day-job income, it’s not worth it. (If you’re good enough to get those things… you’re still much better off, financially, on your own. Read Rusch’s blog for details.)
There is, right now, damn near no reason to sign on with a mainstream publisher for a first-time novel. Ten years ago, there was, although there were still plenty of scams. These days, even the “good” publishing houses are full of rights grabs and shady contracts.
If you decide to go with one anyway, and/or decide you want an agent – READ THE CONTRACT. If there’s part of the contract you don’t understand, demand they explain it; if they say “oh, that’s standard business language,” ask to discuss it until you do understand it. If you don’t know what it means, don’t sign. If you’re uneasy about the terms, DON’T SIGN. Nevermind how much they assure you, “I’d never misuse it like you’re worried about!” Pretend that they’ll be hit by a bus next week, and the whole publishing house/agency will be sold to your evil ex.
Interpret any publishing contract as if your evilest ex were going to be enforcing it. Or, if you don’t have an evilist ex, pretend the US president’s family will acquire the company in a merger, and they’ll be interpreting the contracts.
When everything’s going well, it doesn’t matter what the contract says – the terms will be whatever makes everyone happy. The text of the contract matters when agreements fall apart – and in that case, make damn sure the text has terms you are willing to accept, no matter how stupidly or harshly they’re interpreted.
Absent-minded – Preoccupied to the extent of being unaware of one’s
immediate surroundings. Abstracted, daydreaming, inattentive, oblivious,
forgetful.
Abusive – Characterized by improper infliction of physical or psychological maltreatment towards another.
Addict – One who is addicted to a compulsive activity. Examples: gambling, drugs, sex.
Aimless – Devoid of direction or purpose.
Alcoholic – A person who drinks alcoholic substances habitually and to excess.
Anxious – Full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; solicitous.
Arrogant – Having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or
self-importance. Inclined to social exclusiveness and who rebuff the
advances of people considered inferior. Snobbish.
Audacious – Recklessly bold in defiance of convention, propriety, law, or the like; insolent; braze, disobedient.
Bad Habit – A revolting personal habit. Examples: picks nose, spits tobacco, drools, bad body odour.
Bigmouth – A loud-mouthed or gossipy person.
Bigot – One who is strongly partial to one’s own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.
Blunt – Characterized by directness in manner or speech; without subtlety or evasion. Frank, callous, insensitive, brusque.
Bold – In a bad sense, too forward; taking undue liberties; over
assuming or confident; lacking proper modesty or restraint; rude;
impudent. Abrupt, brazen, cheeky, brassy, audacious.
Callous – They are hardened to emotions, rarely showing any form of it in expression. Unfeeling. Cold.
Childish – Marked by or indicating a lack of maturity; puerile.
Complex – An exaggerated or obsessive concern or fear. (List specific complex.)
Cruel – Mean to anyone or anything, without care or regard to consequences and feelings.
Cursed – A person who has befallen a prayer for evil or misfortune,
placed under a spell, or borne into an evil circumstance, and suffers
for it. Damned.
Dependent – Unable to exist, sustain oneself, or act appropriately or normally without the assistance or direction of another.
Erratic – Deviating from the customary course in conduct or opinion;
eccentric: erratic behaviour. Eccentric, bizarre, outlandish, strange.
Fanatical – Fanatic outlook or behaviour especially as exhibited by
excessive enthusiasm, unreasoning zeal, or wild and extravagant notions
on some subject.
Fickle – Erratic, changeable, unstable – especially with regard to affections or attachments; capricious.
Fierce – Marked by extreme intensity of emotions or convictions; inclined to react violently; fervid.
Finicky – Excessively particular or fastidious; difficult to please;
fussy. Too much concerned with detail. Meticulous, fastidious, choosy,
critical, picky, prissy, pernickety.
Fixated – In psychoanalytic theory, a strong attachment to a person
or thing, especially such an attachment formed in childhood or infancy
and manifested in immature or neurotic behaviour that persists
throughout life. Fetish, quirk, obsession, infatuation.
Flirt -To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures; behaviour intended to arouse sexual interest. Minx. Tease.
Gluttonous – Given to excess in consumption of especially food or drink. Voracious, ravenous, wolfish, piggish, insatiable.
Gruff – Brusque or stern in manner or appearance. Crusty, rough, surly.
Gullible – Will believe any information given, regardless of how valid or truthful it is, easily deceived or duped.
Hard – A person who is difficult to deal with, manage, control, overcome, or understand. Hard emotions, hard hearted.
Hedonistic – Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses.
Hoity-toity- Given to flights of fancy; capricious; frivolous. Prone to giddy behaviour, flighty.
Humourless – The inability to find humour in things, and most certainly in themselves.
Hypocritical – One who is always contradicting their own beliefs,
actions or sayings. A person who professes beliefs and opinions for
others that he does not hold. Being a hypocrite.
Idealist – One whose conduct is influenced by ideals that often
conflict with practical considerations. One who is unrealistic and
impractical, guided more by ideals than by practical considerations.
Idiotic – Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless.
Ignorant – Lacking knowledge or information as to a particular
subject or fact. Showing or arising from a lack of education or
knowledge.
Impatient – Unable to wait patiently or tolerate delay; restless. Unable to endure irritation or opposition; intolerant.
Impious – Lacking piety and reverence for a god/gods and their followers.
Impish – Naughtily or annoyingly playful.
Incompetent – Unable to execute tasks, no matter how the size or difficulty.
Indecisive – Characterized by lack of decision and firmness, especially under pressure.
Indifferent – The trait of lacking enthusiasm for or interest in
things generally, remaining calm and seeming not to care; a casual lack
of concern. Having or showing little or no interest in anything;
languid; spiritless.
Infamy – Having an extremely bad reputation, public reproach, or
strong condemnation as the result of a shameful, criminal, or outrageous
act that affects how others view them.
Intolerant – Unwilling to tolerate difference of opinion and narrow-minded about cherished opinions.
Judgemental – Inclined to make and form judgements, especially moral
or personal ones, based on one’s own opinions or impressions towards
others/practices/groups/religions based on appearance, reputation,
occupation, etc.
Klutz – Clumsy. Blunderer.
Lazy – Resistant to work or exertion; disposed to idleness.
Lewd – Inclined to, characterized by, or inciting to lust or
lechery; lascivious. Obscene or indecent, as language or songs;
salacious.
Liar – Compulsively and purposefully tells false truths more often than not. A person who has lied or who lies repeatedly.
Lustful – Driven by lust; preoccupied with or exhibiting lustful desires.
Masochist – The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to
derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally
abused. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or
trying experiences.
Meddlesome – Intrusive in a meddling or offensive manner, given to meddling; interfering.
Meek – Evidencing little spirit or courage; overly submissive or
compliant; humble in spirit or manner; suggesting retiring mildness or
even cowed submissiveness.
Megalomaniac – A psycho pathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence.
Naïve – Lacking worldly experience and understanding, simple and
guileless; showing or characterized by a lack of sophistication and
critical judgement.
Nervous – Easily agitated or distressed; high-strung or jumpy.
Non-violent – Abstaining from the use of violence.
Nosey – Given to prying into the affairs of others; snoopy. Offensively curious or inquisitive.
Obsessive – An unhealthy and compulsive preoccupation with something or someone.
Oppressor – A person of authority who subjects others to undue
pressures, to keep down by severe and unjust use of force or authority.
Overambitious – Having a strong excessive desire for success or achievement.
Overemotional – Excessively or abnormally emotional. Sensitive about themselves and others, more so than the average person.
Overprotective – To protect too much; coddle.
Overzealous – Marked by excessive enthusiasm for and intense devotion to a cause or idea.
Pacifist – Opposition to war or violence as a means of resolving disputes. (Can double as a merit in certain cases)
Paranoid – Exhibiting or characterized by extreme and irrational fear or distrust of others.
Peevish – Expressing fretfulness and discontent, or unjustifiable
dissatisfaction. Cantankerous, cross, ill-tempered, testy, captious,
discontented, crotchety, cranky, ornery.
Perfectionist – A propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards.
Pessimist – A tendency to stress the negative or unfavourable or to take the gloomiest possible view.
Pest – One that pesters or annoys, with or without realizing it. Nuisance. Annoying. Nag.
Phobic – They have a severe form of fear when it comes to this one thing. Examples: Dark, Spiders, Cats
Practical – Level-headed, efficient, and unspeculative. No-nonsense.
Predictable – Easily seen through and assessable, where almost
anyone can predict reactions and actions of said person by having met or
known them even for a short time.
Proud – Filled with or showing excessive self-esteem and will often shirk help from others for the sake of pride.
Rebellious – Defying or resisting some established authority, government, or tradition; insubordinate; inclined to rebel.
Reckless – Heedless. Headstrong. Foolhardy. Unthinking boldness, wild carelessness and disregard for consequences.
Remorseless – Without remorse; merciless; pitiless; relentless.
Rigorous – Rigidly accurate; allowing no deviation from a standard; demanding strict attention to rules and procedures.
Sadist – The deriving of sexual gratification or the tendency to
derive sexual gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on
others. Deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from
cruelty.
Sadomasochist – Both sadist and masochist combined.
Sarcastic – A subtle form of mockery in which an intended meaning is conveyed obliquely.
Sceptic – One who instinctively or habitually doubts, questions, or disagrees with assertions or generally accepted conclusions.
Seducer – To lead others astray, as from duty, rectitude, or the
like; corrupt. To attempt to lead or draw someone away, as from
principles, faith, or allegiance.
Selfish – Concerned chiefly or only with oneself.
Self-Martyr – One who purposely makes a great show of suffering in
order to arouse sympathy from others, as a form of manipulation, and
always for a selfish cause or reason.
Self-righteous – Piously sure of one’s own righteousness;
moralistic. Exhibiting pious self-assurance. Holier-than-thou,
sanctimonious.
Senile – Showing a decline or deterioration of physical strength or
mental functioning, esp. short-term memory and alertness, as a result of
old age or disease.
Shallow – Lacking depth of intellect or knowledge; concerned only with what is obvious.
Smart Ass – Thinks they know it all, and in some ways they may, but
they can be greatly annoying and difficult to deal with at times,
especially in arguments.
Soft-hearted – Having softness or tenderness of heart that can lead
them into trouble; susceptible of pity or other kindly affection. They
cannot resist helping someone they see in trouble, suffering or in need,
and often don’t think of the repercussions or situation before doing
so.
Spiteful – Showing malicious ill will and a desire to hurt;
motivated by spite; vindictive person who will look for occasions for
resentment. Vengeful.
Spoiled – Treated with excessive indulgence and pampering from
earliest childhood, and has no notion of hard work, self-care or money
management; coddled, pampered. Having the character or disposition
harmed by pampering or over-solicitous attention.
Squeamish – Excessively fastidious and easily disgusted.
Stubborn – Unreasonably, often perversely unyielding; bull-headed. Firmly resolved or determined; resolute.
Superstitious – An irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear
from an irrational belief that an object, action, or circumstance not
logically related to a course of events influences its outcome.
Tactless – Lacking or showing a lack of what is fitting and considerate in dealing with others.
Temperamental – Moody, irritable, or sensitive. Excitable, volatile, emotional.
Theatrical – Having a flair for over dramatizing situations, doing things in a ‘big way’ and love to be ‘centre stage’.
Timid -Tends to be shy and/or quiet, shrinking away from offering
opinions or from strangers and newcomers, fearing confrontations and
violence.
Tongue-tied – Speechless or confused in expression, as from shyness, embarrassment, or astonishment.
Troublemaker – Someone who deliberately stirs up trouble, intentionally or unintentionally.
Unlucky – Marked by or causing misfortune; ill-fated. Destined for misfortune; doomed.
Unpredictable – Difficult to foretell or foresee, their actions are
so chaotic it’s impossible to know what they are going to do next.
Untrustworthy – Not worthy of trust or belief. Backstabber.
Vain – Holding or characterized by an unduly high opinion of their
physical appearance. Lovers of themselves. Conceited, egotistic,
narcissistic.
Weak-willed – Lacking willpower, strength of will to carry out one’s decisions, wishes, or plans. Easily swayed.
Withdrawn – Not friendly or Sociable. Aloof.
Zealous – A fanatic.
I had an anon asking about how to make their character not so perfect. Well, here’s a great list of some flaws you can try to use to balance out his good traits.
character being all “you expect me to do X?” Gilligan Cut to character doing X
the squad gets captured and interrogated separately, and they’re all telling equally terrible, completely contradictory lies
people completely missing the completely unsubtle, very visible dangerous thing in the room with them
alternatively, people absolutely seeing the completely unsubtle, very visible dangerous thing in the room with them and just not giving a shit
bonus points if it’s a beleaguered minimum wage employee who just goes about their business like “yep same shit as always”
someone pretending they don’t know another character is eavesdropping, only to casually reveal at the end of the scene that they know (*leaving* “tell tom that he can come out now” *tom drops from the ceiling in spy gear, irritated*)
choosing to deal with the villain by just leaving them alone in a room with another character
the “hands go down” trope
example: “any questions?” *everyone’s hands go up* “…that AREN’T sarcastic?” *everyone’s hands go down*
how could all y’all forget “ACT NATURAL!”
These are all great but let’s not forget two characters giving extremely biased flashbacks to the same event that each paint the other as an incompetent loon
i would like to respectfully add: scenes where a character walks into a room, sees something scary, and turns around and walks out with no reaction or change of expression
Bonus points if he DOES react, but it’s to close the door and tell his buddy “it’s for you.”
When a character is trying to hide something and keep their cool but in the background everything is going to hell.
This list has all the posts with resources that i have made. I won’t make another post with so many resources so this list will remain like this. Each name from this list has audio resources and pdfs. If you learn a smaller language and its name isn’t here, i’m working on a folder for, more or less, 1300 languages and i’ll post it soon.
I present to you a – probably quite incomplete, I’m sure I’m missing a lot of speech sounds – reference list and a bit of a guideline for the different ways one can describe the sounds your characters make whilst writing smut. I’ll definitely be referring to it, because I sometimes get stuck on exactly how to describe a particular noise. (aka, “he can’t groan again, he just groaned last paragraph”)
Combine a descriptor and a sound for best effect – for example, “needy moan,” “pleased hum,” or “sudden scream.” You can even use two: “low, rough grunt,” “sweet little cry,” “desperate, filthy noise,” as long as you don’t repeat a word that means the same thing, unless you really want to emphasize it. Avoiding repetition is pretty key here. You don’t usually want to say “hushed, quiet gasp” except on rare occasions when it’s very important how soft the sound was.
Use your own common sense, as well; some sounds and descriptors don’t generally work well together. “Deliberate shriek” probably wouldn’t work well, and neither would “languid grunt,” but again, this is all very situational – play around! Have fun.
Feel free to add to my lists, use for your reference or pass them around. It would be fun to see a randomized generator made, too, I’m just too lazy to do it myself. 😉
The eyes are often called, with some justification, ‘the windows of the soul’ as they can send many different non-verbal signals. For reading body language this is quite useful as looking at people’s eyes are a normal part of communication (whilst gazing at other parts of the body can be seen as rather rude). When a person wears dark glasses, especially indoors, this prevents others from reading their eye signals. It is consequently rather disconcerting, which is why ‘gangsters’ and those seeking to appear powerful sometimes wear them.
Looking Up
When a person looks upwards they are often thinking. In particular they are probably making pictures in their head and thus may well be an indicator of a visual thinker.
When they are delivering a speech or presentation, looking up may be their recalling their prepared words.
Looking upwards and to the left can indicate recalling a memory. Looking upwards and the right can indicate imaginative construction of a picture (which can hence betray a liar). Be careful with this: sometimes the directions are reversed – if in doubt, test the person by asking them to recall known facts or imagine something.
Looking up may also be a signal of boredom as the person examines the surroundings in search of something more interesting.
Head lowered and eyes looking back up at the other person is a coy and suggestive action as it combines the head down of submission with eye contact of attraction. It can also be judgemental, especially when combined with a frown.
Looking Down
Looking at a person can be an act of power and domination. Looking down involves not looking at the other person, which hence may be a sign of submission (‘I am not a threat, really; please do not hurt me. You are so glorious I would be dazzled if I looked at you.’)
Looking down can thus be a signal of submission. It can also indicate that the person is feeling guilty.
A notable way that a lower person looks down at a higher person is by tilting their head back. Even taller people may do this.
Looking down and to the left can indicate that they are talking to themselves (look for slight movement of the lips). Looking down and to the right can indicate that they are attending to internal emotions.
In many cultures where eye contact is a rude or dominant signal, people will look down when talking with others in order to show respect.
Looking Sideways
Much of our field of vision is in the horizontal plane, so when a person looks sideways, they are either looking away from what is in front of them or looking towards something that has taken their interest.
A quick glance sideways can just be checking the source of a distraction to assess for threat or interest. It can also be done to show irritation (‘I didn’t appreciate that comment!’).
Looking to the left can indicate a person recalling a sound. Looking to the right can indicate that they are imagining the sound. As with visual and other movements, this can be reversed and may need checking against known truth and fabrication.
Lateral movement
Eyes moving from side-to-side can indicate shiftiness and lying, as if the person is looking for an escape route in case they are found out.
Lateral movement can also happen when the person is being conspiratorial, as if they are checking that nobody else is listening.
Eyes may also move back and forth sideways (and sometimes up and down) when the person is visualizing a big picture and is literally looking it over.
Gazing
Looking at something shows an interest in it, whether it is a painting, a table or a person. When you look at something, then others who look at your eyes will feel compelled to follow your gaze to see what you are looking at. This is a remarkable skill as we are able to follow a gaze very accurately.
When looking at a person normally, the gaze is usually at eye level or above (see eye contact, below). The gaze can also be a defocused looking at the general person.
Looking at a person’s mouth can indicate that you would like to kiss them. Looking at sexual regions indicates a desire to have sexual relations with them.
Looking up and down at a whole person is usually sizing them up, either as a potential threat or as a sexual partner (notice where the gaze lingers). This can be quite insulting and hence indicate a position of presumed dominance, as the person effectively says ‘I am more powerful than you, your feelings are unimportant to me and you will submit to my gaze’.
Looking at their forehead or not at them indicates disinterest. This may also be shown by defocused eyes where the person is ‘inside their head’ thinking about other things.
The power gaze is a short but intense gaze that is used to impose one’s will on another, showing power without aggression.
It is difficult to conceal a gaze as we are particularly adept at identifying exactly where other people are looking. This is one reason why we have larger eye whites than animals, as it aids complex communication.
People who are lying may look away more often as they feel guilty when looking at others. However, when they know this, they may over-compensate by looking at you for longer than usual. This also helps them watch your body language for signs of detection.
The acceptable duration of a gaze varies with culture and sometimes even a slight glance is unacceptable, such as between genders or by a lower status person.
Non-visual gaze patterns (NVGPs) involve rapid movements (saccades) and fixations while we are ‘inside our heads’, thinking. Rapid movements happen more when we are accessing long-term memory and fixations more when we are accessing working memory. This is useful to detect whether people are thinking about older events or recent events (or old events that are already brought to working memory).
Glancing
Glancing at something can betray a desire for that thing, for example glancing at the door can indicate a desire to leave.
Glancing at a person can indicate a desire to talk with them. It can also indicate a concern for that person’s feeling when something is said that might upset them.
Glancing may indicate a desire to gaze at something or someone where it is forbidden to look for a prolonged period.
Glancing sideways at a person with raised eyebrows can be a sign of attraction. Without the raised eyebrow it is more likely to be disapproval.
Eye Contact
Eye contact between two people is a powerful act of communication and may show interest, affection or dominance.
Doe Eyes
A softening of the eyes, with relaxing of muscles around the eye and a slight defocusing as the person tries to take in the whole person is sometimes called doe eyes, as it often indicates sexual desire, particularly if the gaze is prolonged and the pupils are dilated (see below). The eyes may also appear shiny.
Making Eye Contact
Looking at a person acknowledges them and shows that you are interested in them, particularly if you look in their eyes.
Looking at a person’s eyes also lets you know where they are looking. We are amazingly good at detecting what they are looking at and can detect even a brief glance at parts of our body, for example.
If a person says something when you are looking away and then you make eye contact, then this indicates they have grabbed your attention.
Breaking eye contact
Prolonged eye contact can be threatening, so in conversation we frequently look away and back again.
Breaking eye contact can indicate that something that has just been said that makes the person not want to sustain eye contact, for example that they are insulted, they have been found out, they feel threatened, etc. This can also happen when the person thinks something that causes the same internal discomfort. Of course, a break in eye contact can also be caused by something as simple as dried out contacts or any new stimulus in one’s immediate area, so it’s important to watch for other signals.
Looking at a person, breaking eye contact and then looking immediately back at them is a classic flirting action, particularly with the head held coyly low in suggested submission.
Long eye contact
Eye contact longer than normal can have several different meanings.
Eye contact often increases significantly when we are listening, and especially when we are paying close attention to what the other person is saying. Less eye contact is used when talking, particularly by people who are visual thinkers as they stare into the distance or upwards as they ‘see’ what they are talking about.
We also look more at people we like and like people who look at us more. When done with doe eyes and smiles, it is a sign of attraction. Lovers will stare into each others eyes for a long period. Attraction is also indicated by looking back and forth between the two eyes, as if we are desperately trying to determine if they are interested in us too.
An attraction signal that is more commonly used by women is to hold the other person’s gaze for about three seconds, Then look down for a second or two and then look back up again (to see if they have taken the bait). If the other person is still looking at them, they are rewarded with a coy smile or a slight widening of the eyes (‘Yes, this message is for you!’).
When done without blinking, contracted pupils and an immobile face, this can indicate domination, aggression and use of power. In such circumstances a staring competition can ensue, with the first person to look away admitting defeat.
Prolonged eye contact can be disconcerting. A trick to reduce stress from this is to look at the bridge of their nose. They will think you are still looking in their eyes.
Sometimes liars, knowing that low eye contact is a sign of lying, will over-compensate and look at you for a longer than usual period. Often this is done without blinking as they force themselves into this act. They may smile with the mouth, but not with the eyes as this is more difficult.
Limited eye contact
When a person makes very little eye contact, they may be feeling insecure. They may also be lying and not want to be detected.
In persuasion
Eye contact is very important for persuasion. If you look at the other person and they do not look back at you, then their attention is likely elsewhere. Even if they hear you, the lack of eye contact reduces the personal connection.
If you want to persuade or change minds, then the first step is to gain eye contact and then sustain it with regular reconnection.
Staring
Staring is generally done with eyes wider than usual, prolonged attention to something and with reduced blinking. It generally indicates particular interest in something or someone.
Staring at a person can indicate shock and disbelief, particularly after hearing unexpected news.
When the eyes are defocused, the person’s attention may be inside their head and what they are staring at may be of no significance. (Without care, this can become quite embarrassing for them).
Prolonged eye contact can be aggressive, affectionate or deceptive and is discussed further above. Staring at another’s eyes is usually more associated with aggressive action.
A short stare, with eyes wide open and then back to normal indicates surprise. The correction back to normal implies that the person would like to stare more, but knows it is impolite (this may be accompanied with some apologetic text).
When a person stares at another, then the second person may be embarrassed and look away. If they decide to stare back, then the people ‘lock eyes’ and this may become a competition with the loser being the person who looks away first.
The length of an acceptable stare varies across cultures, as does who is allowed to stare, and at what. Babies and young children stare more, until they have learned the cultural rules.
Following
The eyes will naturally follow movement of any kind. If the person is looking at something of interest then they will naturally keep looking at this. They also follow neutral or feared things in case the movement turns into a threat.
This is used when sales people move something like a pen or finger up and down, guiding where the customer looks, including to eye contact and to parts of the product being sold.
Squinting
Narrowing of a person’s eyes can indicate evaluation, perhaps considering that something told to them is not true (or at least not fully so).
Squinting can also indicate uncertainty (‘I cannot quite see what is meant here.’)
Narrowing eyes has a similar effect to constricted pupils in creating a greater depth of field so you can see more detail. This is used by animals when determining distance to their prey and can have a similar aggressive purpose.
Squinting can be used by liars who do not want the other person to detect their deception.
When a person thinks about something and does not want to look at the internal image, they may involuntarily squint.
Squinting can also happen when lights or the sun are bright.
Lowering of eyelids is not really a squint but can have a similar meaning. It can also indicate tiredness.
Lowering eyelids whilst still looking at the other person can be a part of a romantic and suggestive cluster, and may be accompanied with tossing back the head and slightly puckering the lips in a kiss.
Blinking
Blinking is a neat natural process whereby the eyelids wipe the eyes clean, much as a windscreen wiper on a car.
Blink rate tends to increase when people are thinking more or are feeling stressed. This can be an indication of lying as the liar has to keep thinking about what they are saying. Realizing this, they may also force their eyes open and appear to stare.
Blinking can also indicate rapport, and people who are connected may blink at the same rate. Someone who is listening carefully to you is more likely to blink when you pause (keeping eyes open to watch everything you say).
Beyond natural random blinking, a single blink can signal surprise that the person does not quite believe what they see (‘I’ll wipe my eyes clean to better see’).
Rapid blinking blocks vision and can be an arrogant signal, saying ‘I am so important, I do not need to see you’.
Rapid blinking also flutters the eyelashes and can be a coy romantic invitation.
Reduced blinking increases the power of a stare, whether it is romantic or dominant in purpose.
Winking
Closing one eye in a wink is a deliberate gesture that often suggests conspiratorial (‘You and I both understand, though others do not’).
Winking can also be a slightly suggestive greeting and is reminiscent of a small wave of the hand (‘Hello there, gorgeous!’).
Closing
Closing the eyes shuts out the world. This can mean ‘I do not want to see what is in front of me, it is so terrible’.
Sometimes when people are talking they close their eyes. This is an equivalent to turning away so eye contact can be avoided and any implied request for the other person to speak is effectively ignored.
Visual thinkers may also close their eyes, sometimes when talking, so they can better see the internal images without external distraction.
Damp
The tear ducts provide moisture to the eyes, both for washing them and for tears.
Damp eyes can be suppressed weeping, indicating anxiety, fear or sadness. It can also indicate that the person has been crying recently.
Dampness can also occur when the person is tired (this may be accompanied by redness of the eyes.
Tears
Actual tears that roll down the cheeks are often a symptom of extreme fear or sadness, although paradoxically you can also weep tears of joy.
Weeping can be silent, with little expression other than the tears (indicating a certain amount of control). It also typically involves screwing up of the face and, when emotions are extreme, can be accompanied by uncontrollable, convulsive sobs.
Men in many culture are not expected to cry and learn to suppress this response, not even being able to cry when alone. Even if their eyes feel damp they may turn away.
Tears and sadness may be transformed into anger, which may be direct at whoever is available.
Pupil Size
A subtle signal that is sometimes detected only subconsciously and is seldom realized by the sender is where the pupil gets larger (dilates) or contracts.
Sexual desire is a common cause of pupil dilation, and is sometimes called ‘doe eyes’ or ‘bedroom eyes’ (magazine pictures sometimes have deliberately doctored eyes to make a model look more attractive). When another person’s eyes dilate we may be attracted further to them and our eyes dilate in return. Likewise, when their pupils are small, ours may well contract also.
A fundamental cause of eye dilation is cognitive effort. When we are thinking more, our eyes dilate. This helps explain ‘doe eyes’ as when we like others people, looking at them leads to significant thinking about how we may gain and sustain their attention.
Pupils dilate also when it is darker to let in more light. Perhaps this is why clubs, bars, restaurants and other romantic venues are so dingy.
People with dark irises (the colored circle around the pupil) can look attractive because it is difficult to distinguish the iris from the pupil, with the effect is that their dark pupils look larger than they are. People with light irises make the pupils easier to see, so when their pupils actually do dilate then the signal is clearer to detect, making them more attractive ‘at the right time’.
The reverse of this is that pupils contract when we do not like the other person, perhaps in an echo of squint-like narrowing of the eyes. People with small pupils can hence appear threatening or just unpleasant.
Rubbing
When a person is feeling uncomfortable, the eyes may water a little. To cover this and try to restore an appropriate dryness, they person may rub their eye and maybe even feign tiredness or having something in the eye. This also gives the opportunity to turn the head away.
The rubbing may be with one finger, with a finger and thumb (for two eyes) or with both hands. The more the coverage, the more the person is trying to hide behind the hands.
it indeed is western/european centric, I’m sorry for that, but for other cultures I simply don’t have so many references
ALSO note that most of the pictures show historical clothing from the upper classes or more festive clothing of the lower/working class because normal working clothes wouldn’t survive for such a long time, and the clothes were often re-used over and over again!
fadeslikewhispers 