me, every single month without fail: huh weird I feel kind of bloated and lethargic but also very hungry??? and I’m breaking out??? and my back hurts??? this is so strange I have never experienced this before in my whole entire life… what could this be
me a few days later, every single month without fail: oh
I understood the classifications before but now I Get Them? Like this explained so much
Clint: [clicking pen]
Natasha: [clicks pen in response]
Phil: Stop that.
Clint: Stop what?
Phil: You’re talking about me in morse code.
Natasha: Yeah, that’s what we’re doing. In our very limited free time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you.
character being all “you expect me to do X?” Gilligan Cut to character doing X
the squad gets captured and interrogated separately, and they’re all telling equally terrible, completely contradictory lies
people completely missing the completely unsubtle, very visible dangerous thing in the room with them
alternatively, people absolutely seeing the completely unsubtle, very visible dangerous thing in the room with them and just not giving a shit
bonus points if it’s a beleaguered minimum wage employee who just goes about their business like “yep same shit as always”
someone pretending they don’t know another character is eavesdropping, only to casually reveal at the end of the scene that they know (*leaving* “tell tom that he can come out now” *tom drops from the ceiling in spy gear, irritated*)
choosing to deal with the villain by just leaving them alone in a room with another character
the “hands go down” trope
example: “any questions?” *everyone’s hands go up* “…that AREN’T sarcastic?” *everyone’s hands go down*
how could all y’all forget “ACT NATURAL!”
These are all great but let’s not forget two characters giving extremely biased flashbacks to the same event that each paint the other as an incompetent loon
i would like to respectfully add: scenes where a character walks into a room, sees something scary, and turns around and walks out with no reaction or change of expression
three internet trends i will (regrettably) probably never grow out of:
• typing in a cresCENDO TO EXPRESS EXCITEMENT
• …………..unnecessarily……. long……….. ellipsis’
• puttinfh a typo in eveyr other word to shwo u dont really give a fukc but u actually do
also unnecessary!!!! punctuation marks??????? like…… ??? what is going on here????? i!! am!!! so!!! excited!!!!
and™ totally™ unneeded™ trademark symbols™
personally I enjoy Random Capitalisation to show things are Very Important
can we also talk about starting a sentence and then kind of just
stating something reblog if you agree
dude this isn’t even a collection of memes, this is a demonstration of internet grammar… anyone who says that when you type and communicate on the internet you lose too much inflection to get the real meaning just doesn’t understand internet syntax. the evolution of language in action.
the Rosetta Stone of the twenty first century
Also 🙂 doing 🙂 this 🙂 to express 🙂 bottled 🙂 pain 🙂
or,,,,,using commas,,,,,, for elipsis’ ,,,, bc,,, it sounds better,,, in your head,,,, than periods,,,,,,,
pu t ting sp a ces in your wor ds at r and om time s because w hat the fu ck
Is it just me, or did anyone else read all of these with different tones of voice, volume, and inflection?
Don’t forget the B I G S P A C E S F O R E M P H A S I S
You don’t know what street you’re on. Every intersection, there’s a street sign, but it only tells you the name of the other street. Perhaps your street has no name. Perhaps it doesn’t exist.
The road has two lanes. You thought it had three, but suddenly there are two. Now three again. Now one.
Construction workers close down a street. They work for years. No one says what they’re doing, but machinery moves back and forth and great clouds of smoke go up into the sky. When they finally leave, the street looks as if they were never there.
Roads were named, back in the old times, by the city they went to. A road that went to Boston was Boston Road. But many roads lead to Boston. So there are many Boston Roads. They do not connect to each other. They are all Boston Road.
You have forgotten what a parking space looks like. You have forgotten what it means to park. You simply drive forever, in circles. It feels natural enough.
Blue lights flash in front of you, the street swarms with police; an accident? A crime? Some kind of disaster? But at the heart of the blue-clad swarm there is nothing but a single man in a yellow vest, digging a small hole by the side of the road.
You have to be in the left lane to turn right, the sign says. You have to be in the right lane to turn left. The sign that explains this is hung directly over the intersection.
The pedestrians lurch out in front of your car, heedless of the danger, of their own soft bodies and the hardness of steel. They may think your car would simply pass through them. They may be right.
You are on I-93, at rush hour, going one mile an hour. You have always been, and will always be, on I-93, at rush hour, going one mile an hour. In the neighboring cars, babies are born, old people are dying, small tribes are forming.
You are on Storrow Drive. Somehow, you do not die.
While on Storrow Drive you attempt to avoid eye contact with the decapitated corpses of uhaul trucks
You need to go across the river. All the bridges are under construction. The T isn’t running. The sun goes behind the clouds. The skies vomit rain. You think your shoes will never dry. The rain stops very suddenly. It’s 98 degrees and humid. Your shoes dissolve. You consider swimming across the Charlies, when the sun goes behind the clouds again. It starts to snow. You take up residence in the nearest Dunkin Donuts and wait for social security payments to start coming in.
I actually have never driven in Boston and yet I still have personal experience of many of these, none more so than the one about the pedestrians.
People in Boston jaywalk like nobody else on Earth. It’s not even just a casual disregard for traffic, it’s an aggressive disdain. The first time I visited Boston I was there for ten days and I jaywalked more in those ten days than in my entire twenty years of life up to that point.
First rule of driving in Boston downtown is to expect pedestrians everywhere except the crosswalks.
You have to be in the left lane to turn right, the sign says. You have
to be in the right lane to turn left. The sign that explains this is
hung directly over the intersection.
No, there is no sign! The only directives are painted on the roads themselves. You wonder if at one time cars and snow were transparent. Or maybe they are intended for the apocalypse, when you will at last be the only car on the road, still carefully keeping to your proper empty lane.
You go to make a turn, but the road is one way in the opposite direction. At the next intersection the road is also one way in the wrong direction. Same at the next intersection, and the next. Finally you turn the wrong direction out of desperation, accepting that that side of the city if forever locked behind one-way roads heading away.
fadeslikewhispers 